Christmas' Past

With only six days until Christmas, I can't help but reflect upon previous holidays, many of which were spent in different places with a diversity of wonderful people.

 

Twenty-five years ago, I remember the Christmas I spent in a Long-Term Adolescent Psychiatric Unit.  I wasn't a patient there, and even if I was, I would still mention it.  I was one of the Mental Health Workers. 

 

At the time, I was putting myself through graduate school and working a weekly three day, thirteen hour overnight shift that fit nicely into my schedule.  I always volunteered to work the holidays, not only because I would earn a bit extra, but because it kept me from thinking about my own perceived problems. 

 

It's amazing.  All one need do is really look at the actual difficulties that so many people worldwide endure every single day to put your own life into perspective.  At least that's how is with me anyway. 

 

Take the kids on the unit for example.  All of them were under the age of twenty-one, and some were as young as twelve or thirteen.  And many of them were suffering from a long-term psychiatric disorder, most commonly Schizophrenia.  At that time, insurance was not anywhere near the same as it is today, (get them in and out as quick as humanly possible while keeping in compliance with all types of regulations), and the teen-agers in the hospital were permitted to stay for as long as a year, sometimes even more.

 

I remember a young girl on my unit, "J", who was one of these long-timers.  She must have been about fifteen or sixteen, and the Christmas I worked with her was actually the second one she had spent at the hospital. 

 

Her parents came to visit her on every holiday, and this one was certainly no exception.  But as nice as the visit was for "J", her family would ultimately go back home, leaving her (again) in the care of Mental Health Workers and Nurses who they trusted would do just that... care for their daughter. 

 

There really wasn't anything distinctive about that particular Christmas, other than I remember helping some of the young people bake and decorate holiday cookies.  (Yes!  You read that correctly!  Me!  Baking!).  Actually, my role was to assist in the decorating rather than the baking, so this suited me just fine! 

 

A lot of the other adolescents on the unit had earned "passes" so that they could go home for the holiday, so the unit was low in census.  In fact, I think there may have only been three or four patients there that day.  This was rather nice, because it gave the workers time to connect more personally with the teens that remained on the unit, something that was not always possible during a regular shift when a full census was common and full staffing was not.

 

When I think back, I can remember spending a good amount of time with "J" that Christmas Day, and it was a mutually happy experience for both of us.  Extended one-on-one time with a favorite staff member was rare, so this was truly an opportunity to savor.

 

"J" never said much.  Her vocabulary was fairly limited.   She did smile a lot, though.  Luckily, the voices that dominated her brain were friendly ones, not dangerous or scary, as could be the case with some Schizophrenics.   "J" was almost always in a happy mood, and one of the easier patients to work with because of that.  To me, she was a beautiful young woman whose mental health was severely impaired, causing her to see and hear things that were not there.  When she was able to take joy in a non-imagined task, such as decorating a Santa Claus or Snowman cookie, it was a wonderful experience to witness.  I know I certainly was grateful for the opportunity to share it with her.

 

A quarter of a century has passed since then, and I have spent the holiday season in a wide variety of environments.  Often times, it would be a small group home made up of mentally ill and/or developmentally disabled adults who were nearing their senior years.  These holidays were always fun and full of happy memories!  I'll never forget the Christmas that one of my favorite elderly gentleman, who had spent much of his early life in a not-so-nice institution, was given a large three-wheeled bicycle as a gift from the agency.   Generally ornery and foul-tempered (I think everyone liked him that way, so he kept up the "act"), his eyes lit up like a small child getting the BEST GIFT EVER when he saw that trike!  The weather was bad that year, so the staff let him ride the bike around the first floor of the old Victorian style house that the residents called home.  Eventually, he would be able to ride it around the large circular driveway, but not on this particular Christmas day.  Round and round he went, an uncharacteristic and quite genuine grin on his face, truly enjoying a magical moment.  It was magical for me, too, or I wouldn't be able to recall it so distinctly.

Of course, last year was one of the most joyous holiday seasons I've ever experienced!  Regular readers will know that it's because of the merry little Christmas I spent completely alone in the company of the beautiful "M".  Christmas Eve was as magical as they get. "M" and I were the last two people to be seated in the local church for the most inspirational candlelight services I have ever attended.  Both of us quite literally were moved to tears, but luckily "M" always had a zillion hankies jammed into every pocket she had!

 

Oh how I miss "M" this holiday season, although I am forever grateful for the glorious memory of our Christmas past.  Just like the other special people I have been blessed to spend a holiday (or two or three) with.  All of them, from young "J" in the psychiatric hospital, to my ornery old friend with the tricycle, to my beloved "M' in her new Florida home have left a permanent impact on my life in a truly wonderful way.

And this year, I can look forward to spending Christmas night with the amazing "V", who has made a miraculous recovery from her recent hip replacement, and is now back in her own home... just in time for the holiday.  Perhaps we will spend it watching old movies, or TV Land re-runs, but whatever we do, it will add to my list of joyous memories from Christmas' past being a caregiver to others.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL OF MY READERS!!!  AND A SINCERE THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH MY BLOG THUS FAR!!!

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Just one more thing to share with you before I close...

I ran into "J" over a decade later at a local department store near my home town.  At first I did not recognize the now grown woman in front of me, but much to my amazement, she remembered me!  How many staff members and other providers must she have encountered over the years, and yet she could still recall my face... 

"We made cookies together!" she exclaimed with a wide smile.

Yes we did.  What a gift it is to know that something as seemingly small as decorating a Santa Claus or Snowman cookie can mean so much to someone else.