These are certainly three things that don't seem to have any connection whatsoever!!!
Not at first glance, anyway.
In my career as a Caregiver, I have experienced many, MANY things that don't seem to have any connection... but ultimately, they do. Sometimes we are just not able to see it at the time.
My last few visits with "V" have been like that. Kind of scattered, due to my time off, perhaps. And without any rhyme or reason, probably due to the condition of my brain lately. SCATTERED!
It is said that everything happens for a reason, but I wasn't expecting the first happening that occurred on my way to see "V" after my week off. Having attempted to take care of the Traveling Caregiver with a bit of respite (attempted being the key word), my first shift with "V" was not to meant to be. Instead, I was in an unexpected car accident. Luckily, I wasn't hurt badly physically. But the intensity of the crash shook me up emotionally. I don't think I like flirting with death. I'm not done with living yet!
Sadly, the little blue Honda Fit that "M" loved so much was totaled. At least it was for me. If someone else could fix it, great! But it was a goner for me. "What a beautiful color," "M" would tell me with wonder every single time she saw the car, as if that particular shade of blue was the most amazing thing she had ever seen in her whole life! And in her mind, at that particular point in time, it most likely was!
Sadly, the little blue Honda Fit that "M" loved so much was totaled. At least it was for me. If someone else could fix it, great! But it was a goner for me. "What a beautiful color," "M" would tell me with wonder every single time she saw the car, as if that particular shade of blue was the most amazing thing she had ever seen in her whole life! And in her mind, at that particular point in time, it most likely was!
To me, that is a beautiful thing! The ability to live in the moment, and appreciate what is right in front of you.
Having said that, I think I just connected the three subjects of the blog title as they relate to my recent time with "V". Like my wonderful times with "M", "V" and I have simply been living in the moment, enjoying whatever happens to cross our path at any given time.
We've been laughing a lot lately. Not just at TV Land re-runs. Or my amusing anecdotes of life's often not so amusing experiences (it softens the blow when you tell a sad story with a bit of sarcasm and a big smile!).
And our conversations have been very honest and open. Anything goes. No holds barred. As though we've been friends forever. Good friends. Close friends. The kind of friendship where you can share anything you want with each other, and still feel safe and secure in the relationship. Talk about something that is AMAZING! As well as extremely rare and very special.
When I first met "V" nine months ago, I recall asking her over our first dinner together what she would have studied had she been able to finish her schooling? She had revealed to me that because of the war, and the tightness of finances for her family, she was unable to continue going to college.
I'll never forget her answer, because it shook me to the core. "Cooking," she replied, and my heart filled with dread, knowing that I was a horrible cook, and was now charged with the immensely important task of feeding this lovely woman, who was no longer able to engage in the preparation of her true passion, three square meals a day! Yikes!!! I thought I was a goner for sure!
But just as "V" has persevered in the months since then, despite having to deal with the repercussions of another fall and subsequent second hip replacement, resulting in an uncomfortable leg brace, gigantic bed rails, and clunky new shoes, so have I persevered in the kitchen! (Don't get me wrong. I fully acknowledge that her challenges have been far more difficult to face.)
Week after week, I face my fear of meal preparation, and am slowly but surely becoming friends with "V"s kitchen. Not good friends. Or close friends. Or the kind of friendship where you can share anything you want with each other, and still feel safe and secure in the relationship. Not by a long shot!!! But rather the steady, silent (it's a kitchen for crying out loud!) comfort that develops after months of shared company.
I've even become comfortable enough to experiment, as I did last week. "V" likes pork chops, but her weekday evening Caregiver does not, so she rarely makes them. I have no problem with pork chops (aside from cooking them, that is), so I offered to prepare them for "V" once a shift.
And so, I have been making "V" dry, naked pork chops fried in a pan for several months now.
She hasn't complained, and thanks me every single time, always saying "These are good," even when we both know that they really aren't that spectacular. Thank goodness for apple sauce, however. Always there to cover up the poor dry, naked pork chop pieces!
But last week, after the car accident, I approached the pork chop preparation with a fresh new attitude... Enjoy the moment! Seize the day! Take a risk! What's the worst that could happen? "V" has already been graciously eating my boring chops for months. Why not try something new?
And so, despite my fears, (and all of you cooks out there, please try your hardest not to laugh) I decided to bread the pork chops the way my teenage fisherman of a son breads his freshly caught Trout (Ahhhh... the carefree nature of youth!), texting him photos with my new and improved "Smart Phone" every step of the way to make sure I was doing it correctly (Ahhhh... the joys of modern technology!).
After a thumbs-up from the kid on the breading, I pushed myself even further. Instead of the regular apple sauce, I had purchased little containers of peach flavored apple sauce, just to be different. And what could possibly go better with peach flavored apple sauce (because "If it's Mott's, it's Got to Be Good!") than pouring a mostly drained can of sliced peaches (my apologies to Del Monte for not knowing their motto off the top of my head) into a pan of frying of pork chops?
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| Lynette Learns to Cook!!! |
Ta da! I felt fabulous! I had just faced an old, life-long fear and overcome it! For the moment! I was not only seizing the day, but savoring it (or so I hoped)! In my heart, I hoped "V" would, too!
I served her my creation and eagerly awaited her response, patiently watching chew each bite as if she was doing it in slow-motion. "These are good," she said. The same thing "V" always said. But deep down, I knew. These weren't just good pork chops. They were a little better! And if I could make them a little better in this one moment, then I could strive to make them even a little better if I was lucky enough to live until the next moment! Pork chop moments, that is.
Along with the peached chops, we had some rice, salad, and chocolate pudding with creme puffs for dessert. It's hard to imagine enjoying anything more than that...
But wait... I didn't tell you about the Peeps yet. Those wonderfully awful marshmallowy, sugary and airy candy concoctions that miraculously appear on store shelves every year before the Easter holiday. Yes. Those Peeps!
While I was driving over the river, up the mountain, and through the woods to "V"s house for my most recent shift (post accident), I decided to turn on the radio. I desperately needed to stay awake, and I knew that with every fiber of my being. No more car accidents for me. It was not only a terrifying experience, but a truly life-altering one. I want to live! I really, really do! There was a time early in my life, to be honest with all of you, when I wouldn't have said that. It shames me somewhat to think about how I felt back then, desperate and without hope, but it fills me with pride and gratitude to also say that I feel the exactly the opposite way now!
I flipped channels and, not wanting to hear music that could soothe and relax me, I chose a radio conversation that sounded stimulating.
The D.J. and his assistant were talking about Peeps. And not just about Peeps. They were actually interviewing the CEO of the company that produces Peeps!
For some reason, this sounded extremely interesting to me... maybe because it is something that I can truly say I rarely think about.
The reality is that I don't like Peeps! At least not the taste of them. All marshmallowy, sugary, and airy. Not at all appealing to my taste buds.
But I absolutely love the look of them! Little yellow chicks packaged nicely in a row just waiting for someone to purchase them and place them in an eager child's Easter basket! To me, the appearance of Peeps on the shelves of stores is an official sign of Spring. Especially here in the North East, where we have just endured one of the worst winters in a long, long time.
Peeps make me happy :) And so, I decided to listen to the conversation on the radio about the cute confections.
What a learning experience! I already knew that Peeps come in a variety of sizes and colors from literally seeing them all over the place the past few weeks.
But what I didn't know was that some people are Peeps fanatics! They even have their own Peeps recipes! Here I was rattling my brain planning a new way to prepare a dry, naked pork chop, when other people were so far advanced in their cooking skills that they could give new life to a Peep!
Carpe Diem!
I won't go on in the "Forest Gump" tradition where his war buddy, Bubba, rattles on about the many ways to eat shrimp, but let me just say that it would have never occurred to me to eat Peeps stale. And not just a few weeks stale, like some kids will naturally do. But a few years stale! Deliberately! Grown-ups hiding their Peeps in dark cubby holes and closets until they reach that perfect stage of staleness. And if that doesn't appeal to one's taste buds, there are always S'mores Peeps for the whole family. A time of togetherness as the marshmallowy, sugary, and airy delights are toasted over an open fire, sandwiched between two traditional graham crackers. But watch out for the flames! The sweet treats can be highly combustible! Who knew? I certainly didn't!
Note to self: Do NOT burn stale Peeps S'mores on the barbecue this summer time!
The Peeps radio discussion accompanied me all the way to "V"s driveway, and I do not believe it's a coincidence that when I entered her house, I was greeted by a bag of little yellow chicks packaged nicely in a row waiting to be given to her Great-Grandsons on Easter!
For some reason, I was filled with joy and a sense of great appreciation for that particular moment in time. What a nice way to start my shift with "V".
Interestingly, "V" and I ended up talking about Peeps over one of our meal-time conversations (not the peach pork chops, though). Apparently, Peeps have been around for a very long time. "V" had given them to her kids, who gave them to their kids, who gave them to their kits, and so on... The funny thing was that "V" herself had never, EVER tried a Peep. Not once. In ninety-six years. I told her she wasn't missing much, but did take the time to describe, just as the radio D.J.'s had, all the different ways you can prepare Peeps for consumption. We shared a good, hearty laugh over that. Genuine. Right from the gut! Another wonderful moment in time! One to be remembered and appreciated.
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| Sunny soldiers ready for duty! |
"V" and I shared a great many laughs during our most recent time together, not just about Peeps, or my confessions about the Pork Chop preparation (which she completely understood, by the way, having delicately disclosed some of the fears she had faced during her lengthy lifetime). It seemed that everything we said or did was filled with a "What the heck!" kind of attitude. Let's just try it (whatever "it" is)! See how it goes! Why not just enjoy it! You only live once, and you never know how long (or short, in many sad cases) it is going to be. So just make the most of every single second, and take pleasure in the simple things, as well as the big things (like Face-talking with your nine-month old Great-Grandson on an I-Pad - Ahhhh... the true wonders of modern technology!).
When I returned home from "V"s, I was treated to a beautiful site in my own front yard! Cold-weather (and I mean COLD) Pansies that had miraculously survived the difficult winter weather, and were cheerfully peeping their orange heads out of the still warming soil.
Life. In the midst of so many losses, there is always life. So many moments to appreciate... to enjoy and seize! Great pleasure, and often comfort, to be found in each and every one.
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| Springtime at last! |
Best to keep my eyes alert and open, and my mind and soul as well, so that I do not miss any of the beauty that is constantly around me :)
Happy Easter, Passover, and Springtime to everyone out there! And don't forget to take time to smell the pansies!
Happy Easter, Passover, and Springtime to everyone out there! And don't forget to take time to smell the pansies!
