HAPPY FATHER'S DAY - PART 2

Me and My Dad - December 18th, 2012

I can finally tell you a little more about this Father's Day, and I apologize for the two-day delay.  I wasn't able to write anything on the actual day, although I had so many thoughts swimming in my brain.  It was more like they were drowning in my brain, and needed life preservers desperately. 

Luckily, I found the life preservers during my visit to my Dad's place of rest, a Mausoleum that consists only of engraved marble stones to honor the residents. 

My Sister, Colleen, went with me to visit my Dad.  She is only fifteen months younger than me, and as little girls, my parents and grandparents used to dress us alike.  I think it was more my grandparents' doing.  In particular my Grandmother, as my Grandfather would do whatever she asked him to.  She was sooooooooooo happy that her daughter had baby girls, as her son had four boys and only one girl!  Grandmothers can be funny that way.  What's even funnier is that my Sister and I have always been polar opposites in so may ways.  Hairstyles.  Clothing.  Interests.  You name it, we probably did it differently!  Sisters can be funny that way.

But we did, and still do, share one very important thing... our love for our Father, Bill Wilson.  And since his passing on Valentine's Day, Colleen had not been to his resting place, and was understandably a bit anxious about the Father's Day visit.  Being the brave big Sister, I assured her that everything would be fine.  I had been there before on St. Patrick's Day, and found it to be extremely peaceful and pleasant (except for the bitter cold and a wicked wind that chilled right through my bones!).  Sure.  The place was bound to be busier on Father's Day than on St. Patrick's Day (I was the only soul in site!), but we could handle it!  We'd get through the sadness together.  Besides, the day was absolutely beautiful.  Sunny.  Seasonable.  Not too hot.  Not too cold.  Low humidity (I hate humidity.  It makes my hair all weird!)  Just right.  Probably the nicest day we've had so far all year!

Were we in for a surprise when we arrived at the cemetery.  I'd never seen one quite like this.  There were no tombstones, as there were for my beloved Grandparents.  Rows and rows and rows of tombstones.  Not a one at this place!  Just marble plaques.  They were displayed as memorial benches.  And placed into the ground in extremely well-manicured grass.  There were even memorial boulders, where you could have your loved one's ashes placed.  I think I'd go for the boulder, if I chose to be at a cemetery (which I probably won't because I'd rather become one with nature in some other manner, like being tossed out in the ocean or off a mountain or something similar to that).  The boulder was definitely a cool idea, though.

A lovely view for a former Climber and Pruner!

My Dad was in the actual Mausoleum.  An expansive marble structure with many different sections that were home to thousands of marble plaques.  It could be very confusing if you didn't know where you were going, because the structure had different levels, with one stairwell that reminded me of walking down into a train station. 

Dad's drawer (for lack of a better word... when he was placed there, the coffin was slid into a big drawer) was facing the outside, and had a beautiful view (if drawers can have a "view") of the lush green hills and fully bloomed trees.  He would have liked that, being a climber and pruner for a living.  Lots of greenery.  He would have absolutely loved pruning one of those giant maple trees adorned with his ropes and harness and chainsaw.  In hindsight, our garage was rather scary when I was a child.  Just a bit too many ropes and harnesses and chainsaws.  Not to mention the wood chipper across the street.  Not your average Craftsman cabinets from Sears chock full of practical tools for the at-home handy-man. We were always the odd family on the block, anyway.

My Sister and I were also surprised at the casualness of the cemetery.  Some families had settled in on the lawn to have a picnic, complete with umbrellas, lawn chairs, and food baskets, right near their loved one's in-the-ground marble stone.  It felt a little bit like a musical concert at one of those outdoor pavilions.  Quite a relaxing site on a Sunday afternoon in June, yet also bit off key (pardon the pun) given the venue we were in.

Father's Day - June 15th, 2014

My Dad's marble mausoleum stone is still very bare.  He's one of the newer guests.  I looked into the prices of having a weather-proof photo plaque placed on the stone, or even a simple flower holder.  $400.00 for the simple flower holder!!!  Yikes!  

I decided to take another route rather than displaying fake flowers in a $400.00 container permanently mounted on my Dad's marble stone.  

Stickers!  I had plenty of them at home.  I like stickers.  And stores like to sell stickers to people just like me, who use them for oh so many things.  Tag Sales.  Lost Pet Signs (Sad, but true.  Although I did have success once in finding my beloved dog, Goldie.  She passed away three summers ago, but thanks to the stickers on the giant poster-board signs, we were able to locate her after she went missing.  Granted, it cost $2,500.00 for her new leg, as she had broken one of hers during her twelve day ordeal.  But at the time, my husband and I were able to pay for the bill with something called Care Credit on a monthly installment plan.  And when Goldie got older, and had difficulty walking, that new leg was the one that worked the best!  Go figure!  Modern medical technology at its finest!).  Cards and Scrapbooks.  Flyers.  And now Mausoleum decorations!

It seemed like a good idea.  My only concern was that we might get arrested for defacing property.  No one else had stickers.  They all had flowers.  In the $400.00 containers permanently mounted to the marble stones.  In fact, many of them had artificial flowers, which I figured was due to the fact that the families couldn't afford real ones after paying the $400.00!

But it is technically "our" property.  Granted, my Dad and his wife had purchased the drawer and stone years ago, so it is definitely their property.  But after all, Colleen and I are his daughters, and he is our Father, and we had both watched sorrowfully as his body, contained in a shiny coffin, was slid into that drawer, now concealed by the marble stone, only a few months ago.  Surely we were entitled to decorate the stone with some stickers to commemorate Father's Day.  Weren't we?

I didn't care.  I got busy with my stickers while my Sister cheered me on.  I was always the one to take risks.  Bright green stickers (because Daddy liked greenery) saying "Happy Father's Day".  A few hearts in pretty pastel colors (that's all the store had).  And the word love written out in letters from a psychedelic display I had planned for my porch.  Yes.  I admit it.  I'm a hippie at heart.  Something that, at times, made my Dad cringe.  How we used to fight over my peace, love, and happiness beliefs when I was a teenager.  Harsh words from him about how those ideas would never get me anywhere in life.  Thirty-five years later I still cling to those ideas, although I have a better understanding of where his words were coming from.  He just wanted me to be okay.  To be able to take care of myself as an adult... The same thing I now want for my teenage son.

How ironic that I was now decorating his memorial mausoleum stone with my hippie heart. 

Somehow, I don't think he would have minded.  Not one bit.  Rather, he would have been pleased at the sight of his two polar opposite daughters celebrating his memory in a fun way rather than mourning over a memorial marble stone.  The hippie and the fashionista, united in our mission to honor our Dad.

Yes.  You read it correctly.  Fun.  My Sister and I had FUN at the cemetery.  It was enjoyable to decorate Daddy's marble stone with words and pictures reflecting our love for him.  In fact, I wish there was another holiday sooner than his birthday so that I can do some more stickering!  And since his birthday happens to fall on September 11th, I'm not sure how much decorating I should do.  I don't know.  Maybe the brave men and women who gave their lives on that unforgettable day in our Nation's history would enjoy the display, as there is a monument to 9/11 within viewing range of my Dad's stone. 

What's even better is that our Dad is finally near to us geographically.  Even though he lived in Florida for most of the past decade, he is now at rest in a location that is only ten minutes from the house we grew up in... the one with the ropes, harnesses, and chainsaws in the garage.  And don't forget that wood chipper across the street!  That odd Wilson family!

I promise I will visit you again soon, Dad!  I'm sure I can find lots of stickers of trees and shrubs, although you won't really need them, since you are surrounded by so many lovely ones.

Hey, Dad?  You never saw my mobile home.  It's a bit old, but I've made it cozy.  I decided to decorate the large enclosed porch with stickers!  You'll never guess what kind!  Here's a photo of your hippie daughter's back door!  Don't worry.  I can take care of myself! And wherever you are, I know you are embraced by peace, love, and happiness.

To my loyal readers (if there are any left), I promise all of you that I will update you very soon on my visits with "V".  Here's a brief preview:  She has been doing wonderfully, and is as much of a delight as always!!!