Around the World Without Leaving Home

 

Sometimes my work as a caregiver takes me around the world without ever leaving home.

 

That's exactly what happened during the five years I served as a companion for "N".  When I first met her at the age of seventy-nine, "N" was a happy, friendly, and very tiny woman who was recovering from a stroke.  She lived in her daughter's home, which was well-adapted to "N"s mobility needs, and attended a program for seniors during the day.  She was well-cared for and much loved, and the time I spent with her was sheer delight.

 

You see, even though "N" and I never left her home, we traveled together around the world!  During her working years, "N" and her husband had won a cruise that took them to places all over the globe.  She loved to tell the story over and over again, and I never grew tired of hearing it.  "N" always spoke of it as one of the happiest times in her life.

 

"N" never knew my name.  She suffered from short-term memory loss as a result of the stroke, and couldn't remember things that happened yesterday, let alone a few minutes ago.  Sometimes, it was sad to see, especially when she couldn't recall the names of her immediate family members.  They tried to act like it didn't bother them, but I could see the hurt in their eyes when she would be unable to come up with the name of one of her beloved grandchildren.

 

Eventually, "N" came to recognize my face because of the amount of time we spent together.  Her family was very active socially, and "N" and I spent many weekends and holidays together.  I think she was my New Years Eve date for about four years running!  And a delightful date she was!  We would watch TV Land, and one of our favorite destinations was the Ponderosa!  Whenever "N" glimpsed the majestic Sierra Mountains that surround the Lake Tahoe region, she would instantly be reminded of her trip around the world. 

 

"I won a trip around the world, you know!" she would exclaim with glee.  "Where did you go?" I would ask her, always eager to here.

 

The tale never changed.  Italy was her favorite country, and "N" visited all of its major cities and tourist attractions.  I suspect that the Sierra Mountains bordering the Ponderosa in "Bonanza" reminded her of the Alps in Northern Italy, and her mind would always retreat to this very special place and time. 

 

"N" was accompanied on her travels by her husband, and she had no trouble remembering him!  Around the home, there were many beautiful pictures of her family, but the most striking was the wedding photo of "N" and her husband from the mid-1940's.  Mounted half way up the tri-level staircase, "N" and I would always stop to talk about it as she stair-glided up to the bathroom.  Her smile was radiant, both in the photograph and in the present day.  I've never seen a happier bride.

 

One evening, "N" and I were watching a movie about a wedding.  It was a light-hearted comedy, and the story was not too difficult to follow.  Thinking of "N"s joy when she viewed herself as a new bride, I decided to ask her about her own wedding.   Since the event had taken place a long time ago, I figured that "N" would be able to describe in detail every aspect of that special day.

 

I couldn't have been more wrong, and the effects of the stroke on "N"s cognitive abilities became painfully clear that evening.  Just before I asked about her wedding, a commercial for Long John Silver's Restaurant had come on the television.  "N"s response to my query was full of excitement, but not at all what I had anticipated.  With a sparkle in her eyes, she pointed to the TV set and exclaimed, "Long John Silver's!  That's where I got married!" 

 

The harsh reality of her memory loss sunk in that night, and it was an experience I'll never forget.  What I will also never forget is the look of sheer joy in "N"s eyes, not only when she saw the commercial, but every single time we passed her wedding photograph in the stairwell.  She knew who the bride and groom in the photograph were, and somewhere inside her damaged mind, a treasured memory remained fully intact, full of love and happiness. 

 

"I won a trip around the world, you know!"  I did know.  And I couldn't be more grateful for the travels that "N" and I shared together.  Without her, I never would have seen the Alps... or the Ponderosa!