Rarely am I at a loss for words, at least not written ones anyway. I may sometimes (often) stumble in spoken conversations, but thus far, I have not found myself searching for something to say via my blog. Those of you who have the interest, compassion, and patience to have traveled this far with me will certainly know what I mean! (Long-winded? Me?? Never!!!)
But for some reason, I now find myself with a case of Blogger's Block. And being a newcomer to the wonderful world of blogging, I'm not even sure if such a condition exists! I strongly suspect that it does, however. It must!
So, in an attempt to pump some life into my blogging breath, let me simply describe a recent weekend shift with my delightful new friend "V".
First let me say that I am privileged to be part of "V"s "Caregiving Team", which consists of four devoted and dedicated members. "R" works the weekday shift, and takes "V" to medical appointments, the library, grocery shopping, recreational drives, and other outings as needed or desired. The first on board the team, "R"s communication is the key to the team's success. "R2" works the evening/overnight shift from Sunday through Thursday. She keeps "V" safe and sound every single weeknight. On Sunday mornings, "M" relieves me and brightens up the rest of the day until "R2" arrives and the weekly rotation starts all over again .
And last but not least, there is me, the new Weekender. From 5pm on Friday evening through 9am on Sunday morning, I am "V"s grateful companion, a role that I have come to treasure in only four short months.
And last but not least, there is me, the new Weekender. From 5pm on Friday evening through 9am on Sunday morning, I am "V"s grateful companion, a role that I have come to treasure in only four short months.
Here's a look into how our wonderful time together typically unfolds...
After driving over the river and through the woods (amazingly navigating the fall get-away traffic that dominates the beautiful late Autumn landscape), I arrive at "V"s home at 5pm. On the dot! For about ten to fifteen minutes, I touch base with "R" about the events of the week. She has a great relationship with "V", and our interchanges are generally filled with lots of laughter.
After she departs, I spend some one-on-one time catching up with "V". It's amazing how she always asks me how my week was before I'm able to inquire about hers! Beats me to the punch every time! For someone who is five years shy of a century, "V" is one sharp cookie!
Around 6pm, "V" likes to watch the evening news, but "not the sports part," so I try to time my meal preparation so that it is served near the end of the broadcast, when the overly-enthusiastic announcer is summing up the day's sporting events.
"V" loves to eat! And she especially likes salad. I must confess that I am a horrible vegetable eater, so while "V"s salad is chock full of healthy tomatoes, cucumbers, and olives, mine consists mainly of lonely lettuce. To spice mine up a bit, however, I always bring a small box of raisins, a sweet companion for the lonely lettuce. But... although "V" enjoys eating almost every type of food, she does not like raisins. (And scallops. Definitely NO scallops!). We always enjoy a good chuckle about my raisin fetish. I suppose if I want to live as long as "V", I must develop a better relationship with vegetables. It's odd. I absolutely love chopping up the little red, green and black pieces for "V"s salad, and beautifully arrange them in her bowl of mixed greens, but I absolutely abhor the thought of them in my lonely lettuce! Raisins. Just Raisins!
Anyway... Our dinner together is always an enjoyable experience, regardless of whether or not we like the same produce! Casual conversation, filled with more detailed catching up about the week that has passed, as we gently ease our way into the weekend.
Like millions of other Americans and viewers around the globe, "V" is hooked on "Jeopardy." With that in mind, I make sure that she is back in the living room, settled in her comfortable chair, by 7pm sharp! Since she wears hearing aids, the volume on the TV is usually quite loud, which allows me to be stumped by the questions that I have no idea how to answer in spite of seventeen years of schooling while I clean up the dinner dishes. Luckily, the next show is "Wheel of Fortune," which is a much easier, kinder, gentler game. By this point in the evening, I am able to join "V" in the living room. Once there, I settle down on the side of the couch closest to her, feeling at least some semblance of intelligence as I solve the seemingly silly, yet sometimes quite challenging, word puzzles. The show may be seventy years shy of a century, but for the past thirty years, it has successfully managed to captivate audiences worldwide... including a very content "V"!
After "Wheel of Fortune," it's channel surfing time. "V" enjoys watching old movies, as do I, but being the month of October, the station we usually watch is undergoing a Friday night "spook-fest." That limits our choices somewhat, but "V" perseveres with the remote control until she finds something suitable. Two weeks ago we were able to tolerate an early 1960's British film entitled "Burn Witch, Burn!" which, I'm pleased to say, was quite interesting and well-acted. More importantly, it did not involve the actual burning of any witches!
If we can't find a film, we watch "Everybody Loves Raymond" on TV Land. Nothing like a good belly laugh before bedtime! And since both of us are from Italian families with relatives that have resided in or around the greater New York City area, we are both able to relate to the Big Apple craziness of the characters on the show. Maybe a little too much so... Now that is truly scary!
There is a set routine at bed-time, and "V" follows it diligently. With the lights out, she allows me to gently assist her in getting undressed and putting her nightgown on. She softly asks for "a little help" getting one leg into her bed, although I've observed her getting stronger over the past few months to the point where she can lift the leg on her own without really needing "a little help." It's the routine that is important, however, and we stick tightly to it. After "V" is safely in bed, I quietly (except for when I bang into the wall because the lights are out), put her commode in place for use during the night. Lastly, I place her large-print book and reading glasses on her bedside nightstand, along with a glass of water, and we bid each other a peaceful night's sleep. When I depart, "V" turns her touch lamp on and reads for a while.
That's our Friday evening. Simple and relaxing, enjoyably spent together. Quiet (when we are not laughing at the antics of Raymond's family), comfortable companionship, which is something I never want to take for granted.
"V"s bedroom has a baby monitor in it. There is also one in "R2"s bedroom and one in mine. This way, we can be there if "V" needs anything at all during the night. Just in case. "V" generally sleeps very well, and I can hear her put the book down when she begins dozing off. That's when I start falling asleep, comforted by the lullaby of "V"s ever-so-slight snoring. It is a sound that is soothing beyond words.
Saturdays with "V" are pretty much spent in a similar way as Friday evenings. Casual meals accompanied by enjoyable conversation. Addictive games on "V"s I-Pad and my new and improved Samsung cell phone. (Farewell to my old friend Droid!) "V" fully admits that she is a Solitaire junkie, and sometimes will play the game for hours on end. Thankfully, she knows when to quit, and because of that, I assure her that she must not be an addict after all.
"V" is a voracious reader, and much of her day is spent engaged in this extremely enjoyable activity. She goes through large print books as quickly as the local library can supply them to her. I find myself both mesmerized and envious of this. It is incredibly difficult for me to become immersed in a book without falling asleep, and this is a source of great frustration for me. As an English Literature Major in college, I was able to read scores of books... and stay wide awake at the same time. Maybe I've just been taking a thirty year reading break? Of course, now that I've discovered the wonderful world of large-prints, plus admitted with great reluctance that my eyesight really is diminishing with age and that I should be wearing reading glasses as an aid, perhaps I'll be able to finish a book again.
Occasionally throughout the day, "V" will take a stroll around her house. She relies on a walker to ambulate, and this seems to be a source of great frustration for her, just as the books are for me. "V" often tells me, her voice full of pride, that she was able to walk "on her own" up until her fall a year ago. I always try to encourage her by explaining that the walker is not intended to limit her ability to get around, but is actually an aid to help her get around better. On her own. In the same way that the glasses can aid me while reading. She nods and agrees, but I'm not entirely sure that she buys my reasoning one tiny bit. "V"s ability to be completely independent is a very sensitive subject for her, and in turn, I must try to be sensitive to her feelings. I don't push the issue. No one likes a nudge!
Napping is rare for "V" during the day, and it's amazing to me that she is able to stay awake for the whole day at her age, especially since it is sometimes hard for me to stay awake, and I'm only half her age (give or take a few years)! It's just so peaceful and quiet and relaxing in "V"s living room that Mr. Sandman can't resist trying to seduce me. I'm able to battle him off, however, by engaging in some house-cleaning. Nothing like a good romp with the vacuum to keep the juices flowing. It's funny to watch "V" lift her legs just a tiny bit higher when I roll the Oreck under her reclining chair, as though she doesn't realize that her legs are already elevated. And it is fabulous to see that she continues to happily read or play Solitaire in spite of my noise-making.
Dinner time is very much the same on Saturday as it is on Friday, except that the news is always delayed due to some kind of sporting event, which prevents "Jeopardy" from being on, which leaves us only with Pat and Vanna, which thereby allowing us to feel much more intelligent than the night before! As I'm lovingly chopping up the tiny red, green and black pieces to beautifully arrange in "V"s salad bowl, I make sure to adjust my meal preparation time so that it coincides with the juggling television schedule. Cannot miss Wheel!!!
Truth be told, our conversations at dinner on Saturdays are much more in depth than they are on Friday. After twenty-four hours together, "V" and I are completely done "catching up" from the week before, and have settled into a cozy, comfortable rhythm. We are beginning to develop a level of intimacy that allows us to chat more openly with each other, and I am thrilled that I am getting to know who "V" is as a person, and learn what her long life has been like.
We laugh a lot as we share our individual stories, and I find that to be the most amazing thing of all about "V". Her purely positive and uplifting attitude! Every Saturday, "V" unfailingly hears some sad news about an old friend who is ailing or who is no longer able to stay in their own home. And every weekend, she reaches out by telephone to connect with at least one of them, usually more, as she continues to be the consistent link in communication between a group of four close-knit friends girlfriends who are all a bit younger than "V". I imagine that she was most definitely a leader among the ladies in their heyday!
This past Saturday, I watched in awe as "V" contacted one of these women, after learning that she had recently been relocated to a nursing home. The old friend has no actively involved family members, and had been feeling very much alone. She was so thrilled to hear "V"s voice that she exclaimed, "You are an Angel that God sent to me!" I couldn't have chosen a more apt description for "V", who has the angelic ability to brighten up the lives of others. A very real ray of sunshine on an otherwise dark day for her friend.
After the usual bedtime routine last Saturday evening (during which I successfully managed to not bang into the wall because the lights were out), I reflected on that phone call. Maybe, I wondered, "V"s seemingly innate ability to bring cheer to other people is what keeps her so youthful and spirited. If only everyone could be so generous, unselfish and kind... What a wonderful world it would be! Feeling that my cup was more than full on this particular day, I once again fell asleep to the soothing lullaby of "V"s ever-so-slight snoring.
The next morning, I awoke earlier than usual. "V" generally wakes up between 7:30 and 7:45 am, so I always make sure that I am up and dressed and have the coffee brewing before then. She likes to smell the aroma as she slowly wakes. As I was carefully measuring the exact dosage of caffeine that "V" and I would consume together, I was struck by a sight I don't often appreciate (probably because I'm not one of those "morning people.").
On the horizon, behind "V"s football field backyard and quickly fading field of beans, the sky was just beginning to come alive with color. It was a beautiful thing to see (especially for a former second shifter), and I of course rushed outside to take a picture of it with my trusty new Samsung camera phone. (It was a sad day indeed when I finally decided to ditch the Droid after two and a half fine years together! Ahhhhh.... The memories.... ).
As I watched the sun peak its head over the horizon, illuminating the brilliant late Autumn landscape, I snapped my picture. Again. And again. You can never have enough photos of a glorious sight! It was bright and beautiful, filling me with a deep sense of joy and hope.
It was, in fact, just like "V".
I sure hope this breaks the Blogger's Block!
Napping is rare for "V" during the day, and it's amazing to me that she is able to stay awake for the whole day at her age, especially since it is sometimes hard for me to stay awake, and I'm only half her age (give or take a few years)! It's just so peaceful and quiet and relaxing in "V"s living room that Mr. Sandman can't resist trying to seduce me. I'm able to battle him off, however, by engaging in some house-cleaning. Nothing like a good romp with the vacuum to keep the juices flowing. It's funny to watch "V" lift her legs just a tiny bit higher when I roll the Oreck under her reclining chair, as though she doesn't realize that her legs are already elevated. And it is fabulous to see that she continues to happily read or play Solitaire in spite of my noise-making.
Dinner time is very much the same on Saturday as it is on Friday, except that the news is always delayed due to some kind of sporting event, which prevents "Jeopardy" from being on, which leaves us only with Pat and Vanna, which thereby allowing us to feel much more intelligent than the night before! As I'm lovingly chopping up the tiny red, green and black pieces to beautifully arrange in "V"s salad bowl, I make sure to adjust my meal preparation time so that it coincides with the juggling television schedule. Cannot miss Wheel!!!
Truth be told, our conversations at dinner on Saturdays are much more in depth than they are on Friday. After twenty-four hours together, "V" and I are completely done "catching up" from the week before, and have settled into a cozy, comfortable rhythm. We are beginning to develop a level of intimacy that allows us to chat more openly with each other, and I am thrilled that I am getting to know who "V" is as a person, and learn what her long life has been like.
We laugh a lot as we share our individual stories, and I find that to be the most amazing thing of all about "V". Her purely positive and uplifting attitude! Every Saturday, "V" unfailingly hears some sad news about an old friend who is ailing or who is no longer able to stay in their own home. And every weekend, she reaches out by telephone to connect with at least one of them, usually more, as she continues to be the consistent link in communication between a group of four close-knit friends girlfriends who are all a bit younger than "V". I imagine that she was most definitely a leader among the ladies in their heyday!
This past Saturday, I watched in awe as "V" contacted one of these women, after learning that she had recently been relocated to a nursing home. The old friend has no actively involved family members, and had been feeling very much alone. She was so thrilled to hear "V"s voice that she exclaimed, "You are an Angel that God sent to me!" I couldn't have chosen a more apt description for "V", who has the angelic ability to brighten up the lives of others. A very real ray of sunshine on an otherwise dark day for her friend.
After the usual bedtime routine last Saturday evening (during which I successfully managed to not bang into the wall because the lights were out), I reflected on that phone call. Maybe, I wondered, "V"s seemingly innate ability to bring cheer to other people is what keeps her so youthful and spirited. If only everyone could be so generous, unselfish and kind... What a wonderful world it would be! Feeling that my cup was more than full on this particular day, I once again fell asleep to the soothing lullaby of "V"s ever-so-slight snoring.
The next morning, I awoke earlier than usual. "V" generally wakes up between 7:30 and 7:45 am, so I always make sure that I am up and dressed and have the coffee brewing before then. She likes to smell the aroma as she slowly wakes. As I was carefully measuring the exact dosage of caffeine that "V" and I would consume together, I was struck by a sight I don't often appreciate (probably because I'm not one of those "morning people.").
On the horizon, behind "V"s football field backyard and quickly fading field of beans, the sky was just beginning to come alive with color. It was a beautiful thing to see (especially for a former second shifter), and I of course rushed outside to take a picture of it with my trusty new Samsung camera phone. (It was a sad day indeed when I finally decided to ditch the Droid after two and a half fine years together! Ahhhhh.... The memories.... ).
As I watched the sun peak its head over the horizon, illuminating the brilliant late Autumn landscape, I snapped my picture. Again. And again. You can never have enough photos of a glorious sight! It was bright and beautiful, filling me with a deep sense of joy and hope.
It was, in fact, just like "V".
I sure hope this breaks the Blogger's Block!
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